Monday, March 28, 2016

Together and yet so far, but still hanging in there praying for an answer.

It's Monday morning, FoX 13 news weather guy said its going to snow again so it'll be greasy out there.
Last night into early morning was something that had to be felt to gain a grip on. See I started working on some photo research photos for the show that will kick off the new season of HazzardAYre Radio in another week. And in so doing started watching the Women's segment of LDS Conference. I tried to get my lady to come and sit down and watch it with me, but she didn't care to . Most of the night prior I was watching the stage version of Grease Live, which in my opinion was poorly done. Oh the script was adhered to okay, most of the musical numbers were by the book, but with the attempt to mix in some ethnic racial elements and all it just did not have the zing that the film had. The race at the near end was all to fake and phony. Not the best effort, but hey they tried. I started hatching an idea of doing the thing a bit more spicy and a bit more racy than what I had seen, in hopes of combining that into the film that is both a drama film as well as a docudrama of the formation of The Hazzard Knytes and how we finally came together as the powerful organization we are today. Going all the way back to the point at Mrs. Jacobsen's Cub Scout troop pack 303 of Layton Utah when we customized our Hot Wheels cars to our bycicles to our powered mini bikes and so on. Through the TTA(TeenAge Truckers Association 4-H Truckers Club) through the RoadMasters all the way to that fateful day at the Polish Palace in Hagerman-aka- Hazzard Idaho when we formed the club. The reason simply is the story needs to be told and two Kurt Sutter is working on two projects, one a movie version of the Son's and a TV run of pre Son's as the First-9 . Every part of the Hazzard Knytes from the start of the Radio station to our shops to the start of our brother organization the AyreWolvez, all of it will be in the film. It's a huge task, and getting everything in place, the right people cast for the club members, the girls we knew, the music all of it. We'll be filming about the time the Son's movie starts showing late this year. So then with Mama SexyWolf off in her la-la land, and not thinking of what it takes to be my SheWolf, being converted to the LDS Church and all, which is a must. I'm not marrying this time out of lust or simple companionship. This marriage if it happens at all is for keeps for here on Earth and in eternity, I don't think she completely understands what that means. So then I started watching the movie the Hollywood Knights, which of course is part of the foundation for the Hazzard Knytes(Knights) , and she wanted no part of that. It's like we are residing together , not living together, and it has me wondering should I take both a financial , as well as emotional hit, and send her back to Florida? I began wondering this even more this past Saturday. With fetching food from Wally's Burgers, and wanting some sodas to go with it I stopped into one of the Maverick stores here. There's a new gal that started working there, that I just can't stop thinking about. This young honey barely scratching if she is at all of 22 maybe 23 has more in common and more chemistry with me and what I want in someone to cast into our movie, than just about anyone I have seen in a many moons. Lady SexyWolf needs to know and I've tried to be very kind in telling her this, but unless she gets her act together, and or if this Brit gal at the Maverick store showed any kind of personal feelings for me beyond being a feature talent for the film or club, Brit has me in a Hazzard County second. 
The way I look at it right now, is this; there is a week now until the next go round for money coming into the Lair, if SexyWolf don't get it together and shows a bit more attention and interest in me and my world, and gets off Facebook and out of her little phone world and looks at mine, she's outta here. I'd rather live alone and be allowed the freedom to explore those women who compliments me and my life, rather than reside or try to live with someone that makes feel alone anyway. Any way. Lets look at some more here. It wasn't being under the cloud of coughing and suppression of that backwashed snot in my throat that kept me from going to church this Easter Sunday, heck I forgot it was Easter. Nope it was another flip out fight with Shelly. It seems that's just about all we have been doing since she got here. God teaches we should try to be of service to those not too tightly wrapped or who don't have our abilities or blessings. In my life it's Shelly. She got bonked on the head, quite severely as a youth as well as just a few years ago, much prior abuse and mental trauma and while not retarded still not too much ahead of that and quite developementaly challenged. The fact that I rescued her from her Aunt & Uncles back yard essentially off the street and brought her out here, was not enough. Yet outside of just after the first few days, even a week , its been fight and disagreement after another. Beyond the fact that I'm keeping my carnal needs in check much of that having to do with superficial eye candy, and not much desire, there is no emotional, or real love bond. I wanted her to go see the Bishop here to discuss this, but although she only partly agreed, still her heart is not into it. As many of you can understand here, this is not a situation that is sustainable, for the long haul, unless something steps in here. I think it'll end up with her going back to Florida a week from now, if she does stay it'll be through the Bishop, and the Church finding employment at WalMart, and living elsewhere. But there's still a week to decide.
AnyWay much to do today, need to catch some sleep.