Our new hire prospect Britt is having guy problems. As little a space of time ago, I was having lady problems. It seemed as many ladies I met at the model auditions and all I never could connect with. More over even when I did go to church steady, I had the difficult problem making the he and she connection. I felt it was me. I got told I looked everything from creepy, or a predator or worse. I was even at a point, that I thought of tattooing that on my forehead. As much as I held my heart out on my sleeve, as nice as I was to all too many ladies seemed once they used what was in my wallet or somehow decided like my hillbilly lifestyle, although prosperous, was not for them. My heart would get stomped on, my soul got broke, and several times I looked at committing suicide. Why live? After all I have done everything one can do in life, from broadcasting, flying, trucking, toewing I had lived and was in the company of celebrities and Government leaders, but I felt the most comfort on two wheels with a few guys from the club. Even the few gals that are in the club, I never could quite connect with. Sure we’d party , even sexually , but never anything Permanente.
I had put away the LDS Church due to many abuses, and began having our own services. What I found was I was never really alone. I had my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ always within my arms reach. If I needed a shoulder, he was there.
After my last marriage which brought me here to Evanston the first time around in 1995, I had been used as a magic carpet ride to escape from an abusive husband, but once she had tasted some freedom she left me. Sure I tried to win her back, but that final thing at Legal Tender here in Evanston, when her new guy pal, put his hand on her lap and she had her hand on mine, I just said, no more. So I began leading a more humble, basic life. I drive rides that look like they are falling apart, although mechanically sound, I live in a modest home, and I don’t dress in threads that make me look like anything but what I am. The more humble I live, the more blessed I am through Jesus Christ. All my rides are paid for, just about all I have I own, and outside of the goof of the radio gear that My ward is helping me recover and a few utility bills, I’m pretty much debt free. Which all church leaders say is what we should work towards.
I only get super depressed around Thanksgiving, Christmas, the rest of the time, I have just accepted that my Heavenly Father has me running this race of life alone, is just his plan. This does not mean that if the right lady stepped in and said I’m yours, whether it be our prospect , even with the age gap, or someone else. I wouldn’t say no. But I’m not actively hunting a gal. Why? Because I have Jesus Christ, I have my friends and both sisters and brethren at our Ward, I have the love and help , but mostly the brotherly love of a caring Bishop. Mostly I have the love and support, of my Heavenly Father, and when it comes to the he & she thing, when my Heavenly Father determines its my time up on the batting plate again for that, My Heavenly Father will bring someone into my picture. But I have the the faith and put that in his hands, he’s doing the driving, I’m just riding second seat, so I don’t stress over it.
As far as Britt; out of the 50k membership, of the Knytes, there is 10k that is in Britt’ age group, she in time can have her choice, so in reality, she’s not fully alone.
I have learned, that when I’m depressed, when I feel lost, when I feel stressed and especially feeling lonely, I just open my Bible and my Book Of Mormon, and very rapidly, I’m no longer stressed, alone, depressed anything. A special peace from the Holy Ghost comes into my body and mind, and I gain courage to go on.
In closing, we are only alone, if we choose to be, there are people out there if we just open our arms and put down the shields, more over we are only alone, when we close our Bibles, and ignore Heavenly Father.